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  • Republicans apologize to BP for inconvenience caused to their drilling operations by the Gulf of Mexico
  • Arizona law struck amidst new immigration threat to its borders
  • Gloria Allred is running late night cable ads: “If you’ve been groped by a Republican Presidential candidate, call right now because you may be entitled to monetary damages.”
  • Charlie Sheen in negotiations to be the new host of Punk’d
  • Army gives annual award to ex-Rep. Eric Massa for promoting the image that everyone in the Navy is gay
  • Sign of the times: Government running ads during state of the union, not unlike what occurs during a soccer game
  • Republicans worry that Cain chanting, “Nine, Nine, Nine!” will alienate elderly Jewish voters in Florida.
  • Congressman John Boehner denies taking improper gifts from lobbyists for the spray tan industry
  • Exit Strategy: Gaddafi to replace Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men.”
  • ObamaScare Passes, Death Star panels to begin immediately
  • TV Ratings and Attendance down; Baseball to reconsider steroid ban
  • Neighbors in the prosperous upper-middle-class suburb of Abbottabad, Pakistan where Bin Laden’s compound is located are more shocked that there was a 2000 pound water buffalo on the property, than the fact that Osama bin Laden was living there.
  • Tea Party Leader Caught Using Food Stamps for Beer and Donuts
  • Bin Laden’s Diary Seized
  • James Cameron reads JestReport.com and decides to help out!

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