by Casey Flynn

A federal judge blocked some of the toughest provisions in the Arizona illegal immigration law, putting on hold the state’s attempt to have local police enforce federal immigration policy.

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer announced that this ruling could not have occurred at a worst time because there is a new and even graver immigration threat to the border of Arizona (see picture below).

The new immigration threat: La Clown Car - 780 cross-country hybrid

Jestreport.com news service  — At 3:00 am on the border town of Laredo, Mexico, the border patrol pulled over an unassuming, looking clown car with a raspberry soft-served ice cream attached to its roof.

The officer asked the occupants to please step out of the car.  It was at that moment that the carousel music started, and the officer watched with growing astonishment as illegal immigrant clowns, mimes, and persons dressed as over-sized bumble bees came out of the car one after the other until it seemed like there were hundreds of occupants in the car. 

On the basis of several other pullovers and seizures of similar looking clown cars, it soon became apparent that this was not an isolated incident, but that car was just one in a series of clown cars appearing around border towns across the Mexican-American border, known – according to the editors – of ‘Car and Driver’ magazine as:

La Clown Car – 780 cross-country series (essentially a retrofitted Pontiac Bonneville) (pictured below)

It seems that illegal immigrants have decided to use clown cars to cross into America because clown cars are ideal to express their Mexican cultural heritage for the decorative arts and the craft of detailing cars.

Sarah Palin with Governor Brewer at the ‘Secure the Border from La Clown Car’ rally

Sarah Palin came down to Arizona to have a rally with Governor Brewer to address the latest threat to Arizona’s border security, la clown car.  Below is a picture of Sarah Palin with Governor Brewer and a portion of the speech that she gave at the ‘Secure the Border from La Clown Car’ rally:

Palin declared: "Mr. Obama, put up that wall!"

Excerpt of Palin speech:

“The border of Arizona is being overrun with clown cars filled by the thousands with illegal aliens.  Because of the type of vehicle that they’re using, it’s impossible to know exactly how many illegals are crossing the border.  Logically it seems that these cars could not hold that many occupants, that’s what the liberals would have you believe [loud applause], but I have seen with my own eyes the number of persons that can come out of these clown cars when I went to the circus as a young girl in little ole Wassilla, and that number – infinite!  Now I know the East Coast intellectual elites would say, don’t trust your own eyes, but they don’t wake up in the middle of the night while illegals trample through their bedroom and root through their fridge.

And you know the kind of illegals who are crossing the border in these cars?  (Catholics, right?)  Drug smuggling violent criminals, intent on taking your job.  Guess what the unemployment rate is for American clowns in Arizona?  Because of the way that Obama has destroyed the economy, it’s almost 110%!  Do you know what it was under George Bush, either one:  – 4%. …

“‘So what should we do with these people who we call illegal aliens?’  The people at the rally shouted, ‘Deport them’ and ‘Kill them on a cross!’ and “Crucify them!” and ‘Get price quote for landscaping!’”

Drug Bust On US Border: 

As to the suggestion that illegal aliens have been bringing drugs into the United States, according to AP and Jestreport.com news service, at 5:00 am on the border town of Nogales, a clown car was pulled over.  The officer asked the driver to step out of the car and then proceeded to do a pat down search.  The officer found in the oversized, fluorescent green, floppy shoes of the driver of the car: two pounds of cocaine; a comic book offering advice on how to cross the border into the U.S. illegally, called “The Guide for the Mexican Migrant”;  a Spanish-language; ‘Dummies Guide to Landscaping;’ Dan Brown’s ‘El Codigo Da Vinci,’ and a pez dispenser.

The clown explained, “Eh .. eh . .. how do you habla engles. Eh … eh we are going to a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus in eh Alamodome in San Antonio, and eh clown shoes, not mi clown shoes eh just carrying eh for an amigo.

At that moment, the officer called for backup. When the two other officers arrived, they ordered that the other individuals leave the car. They watched in utter amazement, as nearly 1000 Mexicans – of all ages – walked out of this four-door car, to the sounds of the carousel music coming from the car’s stereo.

After making the necessary arrests, the officer made a report. The officer uncovered that the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus was not even in the Southwest at that particular time, and the clowns in that car had faked documentation regarding their M.F.A. in Clown, Mime, and Creative Writing from the Nuevo School in Nuevo York Universidad.

Goldman Sachs Executive gets angry when Warren Buffet does not accept his friend request

Tea Party Leader Caught Using Food Stamps for Beer and Donuts

In a Predator drone attack in North Waziristan, the US and C.I.A. killed Al Qaeda’s No. 3 leader, Mustafa Abu al-Ayeeri, according to a senior Pakistani intelligence official (he knew this because they were Facebook friends).  Mustafa Abu al-Ayeeri was the chief operating officer of Al Qaeda and Professor Emeritus for Islamic studies at King’s College, Cambridge.  He is survived by four wives, seventeen children, and thirty seven grand children.  At the eulogy for al-Ayeeri, his family honored their father by promising to continue his life’s work.  The family asked in lieu of flowers that donations be made in the name of their father to the Taliban, Inter-Services Intelligence “ISI” (Pakistani intelligence service) or Make-a-Martyr-Wish Foundation (your child is dying of cancer anyway, he has a wish to commit a terrorist attack, but lacks the financial resources …).

Mustafa Abu al-Ayeeri's facebook picture

Both the Department of Defense and the C.I.A. hailed this as a great victory on the war against terror.  The Pentagon employees came out of the gaming room at the Pentagon, where the drones are remotely controlled from, and hi-fived each other on their success of having killed al-Ayeeri.  The Pentagon employees then returned that afternoon to their fifth-grade class.  As an interesting side note, the unit cost of predator drone is 4.5 million dollars or the GDP of North Waziristan (if we do not factor in the opium trade).  

The Predator Drone at issue shot two Hellfire missiles, the one took out al-Ayeeri, his apartment, the apartment complex, and the adjoining Wal-Mart store.  As the attack occurred during Wal-Mart’s busiest part of their day, up to two Wal-Mart workers were killed (this is not confirmed because these workers have yet to be found;  they are suppose to be in the store, somewhere). 

The other Hellfire missile blew up House Of Falafel, known for serving the best falafel in North Waziristan.  The CIA apologized for this mistake and said that they rely on informants to tell them about which sites contain Al Qaeda operatives.  The informer who told them that House of Falafel is an Al Qaeda front was the owner of Falafel King, which was featured on Al-Jazeera’s Food Wars, “Who has the best falafel in North Waziristan?,” hosted by Mohammad Guy Al-Fieri.  The owner of Falafel King was also displeased by slanderous remarks made by (he believed) the owner of House of Falafel on al-yelp.com.

Mohammad Guy Al-Fieri

 It seems like this is the 37th time we have killed Al Qaeda’s No. 3 leader?  Is this always a good thing that we have in effect promoted Al Qaeda’s No. 4 leader to the No. 3 position? Maybe Al Qaeda No. 3 is the lazy, incompetent one, the one whose mailing it in, getting by on his past glories.  He shows up to the cave at 10 o’clock, spends the first few hours downloading veiled women on the Internet or forwarding humorous e-mails to his terrorist friends:  e.g. “Hey everyone in your caves, damn it’s hot out today, Aljazeera says scattered sand storms, so bundle up, hopefully these hilarious how-to-change-a-lightbulb jokes will brighten your day.  Looking forward to our fantasy field hockey draft?  Maybe meet at the oasis later for a drink? LOL and Death to the West, Al Qaeda No. 3.  “How many Americans soldiers does it take to change a light bulb in Afghanistan?  After Congress passes funding to build a power plant …” 

 Meanwhile, Al Qaeda’s No. 4 is the junior executive go-getter type, an innovator of terrorism, wears a Lacoste turban, all tech savvy, wants to set up a terrorist wireless network between the caves.  He just got the new IPhone 4 with this new app. which can determine what building closest to you would make the best terrorist target (on algorithm depending on size of building, people in it, and its relation to Western infidels).  Of course when you go to this building to blow it up, the building is not actually there because those things never work.    

So the next time you see a headline that reads US and C.I.A. kill Al Qaeda No. 3 or Al Qaeda No. 5 leader just know that we didn’t.  It’s like a Zombie movie;   Al Qaeda No. 3 cannot be killed, there will always be another Al Qaeda No. 3 coming around the next corner.

If we are not supposed to be afraid of deepwater drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, should we be afraid of Al Qaeda anymore?

U.S. District Judge Martin Feldman blocked a six-month moratorium that the Obama administration placed on new deepwater drilling projects in response to the 2010 BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Feldman Rule on Recusal:  Judge Feldman needs to recuse himself from this case because as I understand it when the case was assigned to him he owned stock in companies directly or indirectly affected by the outcome of the case challenging Obama’s moratorium on deepwater drilling projects.  Incredibly he owned stock in Exxon-Mobil, owner of one of the Gulf rigs temporarily shut down by the moratorium, until the day he announced his ruling on the case.  He apparently still owns stock in BlackRock, BP’s top shareholder as well as stock in seventeen other oil and gas industry companies.  In 2008, Judge Feldman made a financial disclosure that indicated he had holdings in Halliburton and Transocean Ltd., two of the companies being sued in the Deepwater Horizon disaster.  In defense of Judge Feldman, he was using the Gilded Age/ Ulysses S. Grant administration standard for determining whether a conflict-of-interest exists, which is an accepted standard in the Fifth Circuit, the state of Louisiana, and most other Banana Republics.

Judge Feldman’s Ruling:  In blocking the Obama administration’s moratorium on deepwater drilling projects, Feldman held that the Interior Department failed to provide adequate reasoning for the moratorium, saying that “[i]f some drilling equipment parts are flawed, is it rational to say all are? Are all airplanes a danger because one was? All oil tankers like Exxon Valdez? All trains? All mines? That sort of thinking seems heavy handed and rather overbearing.”

Judge Feldman's son Corey: "We've been estranged since I made Goonies."

Damn straight.  Just because some Mexican-looking persons in Arizona are here illegally,  dealing drugs and working as cooks at the cafeteria in the Republican headquarters in Phoenix, Arizona (making Taco Tuesdays a real treat), is it rational to say that all Mexican-looking person in Arizona are here illegally, dealing drugs, etc..

Just because one guy brought a bottle containing an explosive liquid or a shoe bomb on a plane, does it mean that all liquid containers or shoes contain explosives?  Do you know how many liquid containers or shoes have gone on planes without exploding? 34 Billion and some change (see wikipedia.com).

Just because certain Arab-looking persons committed terrorist acts against Americans, does it stand to reason that Yusuf Islam (aka Cat Stevens) is a terrorist?  He wrote ‘Peace Train,’ with such lyrics as:   “I’ve been crying lately/Thinking about the world as it is/Why must we go on hating?/Why can’t we live in bliss?”  (Granted his song ‘Peace Train’ has been translated into Arabic as:  ‘Kill the Jews!’, but that has more to do with making the meter work in Arabic)

Yusuf Islam nee Cat Stevens: "Okay maybe I wouldn't want to get on a plane with this guy. I mean, if he went to a costume party as a terrorist, he'd win best costume."

That sort of thinking seems heavy handed and rather overbearing.  Couldn’t agree more.

I just had no idea that if I wanted to bring my two liter bottle of Mountain Dew, Code Red or my economy-size Pert 2-and-1 shampoo on a plane (my finicky hair only works with certain discount shampoos), and they stop me, I had a right to walk into a federal district court and challenge a federal agency ruling.  And further the federal district court judge could strike down the agency’s rule because the federal government had not made a sufficient showing that there was a good enough reason for said rule.

Rush Limbaugh and the Republican response:  Essentially Rush Limbaugh and Republicans are applauding Judge Feldman’s decision because he’s defending the Constitution and the rule of law.  To wit, Obama’s moratorium on new deepwater drilling projects did not have a sufficient evidentiary support and arguably safe deepwater drilling projects have been shut down and private individuals and companies are being deprived of property rights without due process of law?  The other aspect of the Republicans response is that deepwater drilling is perfectly safe and that what happened at the Deepwater Horizon site was an aberration.  Therefore, Obama’s moratorium on new deepwater drilling projects was an overreaction, penalizing oil companies that play by the rules.

Are we a third world country ruled by oligarchs?:  As I understand it, the oil that the United States government gives out permits for drilling is in federal waters, and the US gets royalties for allowing these oil companies to drill.  Therefore, the oil companies do not own this oil as we are not yet a third world country ruled by oligarchs.  The federal government allows deepwater drilling if there is a determination that this activity is safe.  Accordingly, if the federal government receives new information that deepwater drilling is not safe, are Republicans claiming that it doesn’t have the power to act?  What happened to the Bush-Cheney imperial presidency with its expansive view of executive power?  What can be more of a threat to our national security than the consequences of a deepwater oil spill?

New Information, The Deepwater Horizon Blowout:  The singular lesson from the Deepwater Horizon blowout was that the oil companies cannot be trusted to regulate themselves. Cheney/Bush and MMS essentially ceded regulation over to the oil companies to make sure that deepwater oil drilling was performed safely.  And what did they do with this responsibility?  In the words of Dennis Hopper playing Wyatt in the movie, ‘Easy Rider’ : “We blew it.”

From the Deepwater Horizon accident, we have learned:  (1) if there is a blowout while drilling in deepwaters, there is no way to stop the oil flow (save a nuclear device);  (2)  oil companies routinely do not verify that the wells are actually built as intended;  (3)  oil company studies about environmental impacts are cut and paste jobs from wikipedia and other websites;  (4) the government regulators are not protectors of the environment or the people who live along the Gulf, but are protectors of Big Oil (and everyone who likes to buy cheap gas – remember, we’re the problem!”)

BP Atlantis site:  A whistleblower by the name of Kenneth Abbott claims that BP failed to review thousands of final design documents on the BP Atlantis platform, and as a result,  BP never verified that the systems were built properly and as intended.  The BP Atlantis oil rig is larger than the Deepwater Horizon rig that sank in the Gulf.

Add to this, there are numerous accusations that BP regularly made shortcuts around safety procedures and either ignored or did not build safety mechanisms that the engineering drawings called for.

The only thing we have to fear is … [insert what polls best]?:  Republicans fault Obama’s moratorium on drilling as a socialistic overreach that violates the Constitution and further destroys our economy.  Which returns us to the question at hand:  if we are not supposed to be afraid of the dangers of deepwater drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, should we be afraid of Al Qaeda anymore?

In the Deepwater Horizon explosion, eleven people were killed, a fireball was ignited whose flames were visible from 35 miles away, numerous people were injured, the Gulf of Mexico has been befouled by oil, countless numbers of people will get sick from cleaning up the oil including having an increased risk of getting acute myelogenous leukemia, and to eventually stop the oil gusher, experts have speculated that we might have to use a tactical nuclear device.

If this realized danger is no big deal, should we be afraid of anything that Republican or Democratic politicians try to get us worked up about?

What are we even doing in Afghanistan and Iraq?  I say bring our troops home from Iraq and Afghanistan especially since the federal government has made absolutely no showing that our military presence there will reduce the likelihood of terrorist attacks.  Where’s Judge Feldman on this one?

Shut down the boondoggle that is homeland security!  Just as the Republicans say the US has regulations in place that should have prevented the Deepwater Horizon disaster, I’m sure pre-9/11 that we had laws and law enforcement in place to stop terrorist attacks. Terrorism did not just become illegal after 9/11.

Let me bring my two liter bottle of Mountain Dew, Code Red on a plane along with my economy sized, Pert 2-1 shampoo and all sorts of electronic gizmos stuffed in the various pockets of my vintage clothing parachute pants.  Hell, let the Afghani people get on planes to the US with whatever they want to bring including their goats.

Why should I take off my shoes whenever I walked through a metal detector when a private corporation can’t even be forced to take a time-out to prove that they built the promised blow-out preventers, used the right type of cement and drilling mud before engaging in offshore drilling when their activity could potentially blow up the Gulf of Mexico … again?

Republicans and Democrats should not pick and choose what to fearmonger about.  It’s tiresome.  If all we have to fear is nothing, then let it be nothing, consistently.

I don’t think anyone really believes this though.  If reasonable persons would take reasonable precautions to reduce the likelihood of a terrorist act or an environmental disaster, a reasonable people would take such precautions or elect politicians to so implement these policies.  Surely to take such precautions is consistent with any reading of the Constitution.

Meanwhile, what is the present status of the BP Atlantis site? Is anyone looking into this?  President Obama?  Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour?  Congressman Boehner? Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney?  Judge Feldman?  Where’s Senator Harry Truman when we need him?

by Casey Flynn

Republicans and Rush Limbaugh request that the storks et al. apologize to BP

Rep. Joe Barton, a Texas congressman and the highest-ranking Republican on the Energy and Commerce Committee, apologized to BP chief executive Tony Hayward during a hearing Thursday morning.

“I’m ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday,” Mr. Barton said in his opening statement. “I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown — in this case a $20 billion shakedown.”

Joe Barton further apologized to BP that the Gulf of Mexico, the plant and wildlife of that ecosystem, the beaches, and the surrounding wetlands have gotten in the way of BP’s oil drilling operations in the Gulf.

The storks have hired one of the biggest plaintiff’s attorneys, pictured here, to represent them for their class action and individual claims against BP.

Joe Barton then said that after the Gulf of Mexico is transformed into the Gulf of Tar Ball, Tony Hayward, Lord John Browne, Baron Browne of Madingley, former head of BP, and other BP foreign executives should be able to return to their estates in England far from the Gulf of Tar Ball without being harassed by the Obama Administration.  To do otherwise, would be against the US Constitution, the American way of life, and everything that our Founding Fathers stood for.

Never to be one to let the ludicrous go undefended, Rush Limbaugh and other Republicans have in effect seconded Joe Barton’s apology to BP that they are a victim of a government shakedown.  In other words during the sixty plus days of the BP oil spill, the Republicans have gotten truly outraged about one thing:  Obama’s heavy-handed treatment of BP only in regards to payment of damages claims.

Republican midterm campaign platform: "We won’t let BP get fleeced!"

That’s all the Republicans are getting worked up about from the BP Gulf of Tar Ball debacle:  a hypothetical concern that BP, a private corporation, might overpay for damages claims?  Considering all that BP has done wrong, all that Obama has done wrong in his response to this disaster (a lot, see previous post), all that Democrat and Republican Congressman and federal regulators have done wrong to allow this to occur in the first place (this was a gross failure of regulation and oversight), this is what the Republicans want to focus on in their efforts to return to power in the midterm elections.

I don’t know the details of this escrow fund, but perhaps it has a reversionary interest to BP if – miracle of miracles – this ecological disaster does not come to fruition.  Do the Republicans have any concern that BP will pay out its dividends, award bonuses to its executives, and then seek bankruptcy protection?  Could the escrow fund be a hedge to protect legitimate claimants from losing out in such a bankruptcy scenario?  Who will restore the wetlands and wildlife of the Gulf of Mexico if BP goes belly up?  What about a potential windfall to BP if the government pays most of the bill, and BP lawyers up and successfully fights liability?

What I do know is that no one should waste their breath on whether BP might overpay legitimate claimants at some future date until (1) the spill is plugged and (2) the environmental cleanup is complete.

Republican/ Rush Limbaugh/Tea Party challenge:  When will Rush or any individual in these groups express apoplectic outrage and unleash a tirade against BP for what they have done and demand that the type of ‘trust, but verify’ regulation for oil companies be passed.

Chirp, chirp, chirp …

It turns out that James Cameron reads Jestreport.com because he has decided to take us up on our suggestion as evidenced by news reports recently posted, e.g. Yahoo news:  “‘Titanic’ director Cameron joins effort to plug Gulf spill.”

JestReport.com’s response to James Cameron’s help with this environmental disaster, two words:  Big Fan.

While soaking in a bathtub in the White House and languidly reading a book containing some of his favorite French poems, Obama decided to put some more hot water into the cooling bathtub.  As he did, he witnessed an oily viscous substance coming through the bathtub faucet.  It was soon determined that the oil was part of the BP Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Realizing the gravity of the situation, President Obama called a press conference and declared a national emergency and stated that his administration was taking charge of the situation by establishing a Commission to look into the BP Oil Spill.  A Commission?  That’s the answer!  We don’t need a stinkin’ commission unless that commission can be jammed into the broken pipe spilling oil at a rate of BP’s current estimate of over 5,000 barrels to as high as 100,000 barrels of crude oil per day since April 20, 2010 – the last 34 days!

Daniel Plainview, head of BP, made the following statement to the press, "I'm an oilman."

The Blame Game:  The BP Oil Spill happened because the following people did not do their jobs:  (1)  Red/Mauve State Congressman from Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, and Louisiana from both political parties,  (2)  George W. Bush,  (3)  Dick Cheney and his Oil commission, (4) President Obama, and (5) federal regulators from the Minerals Management Service, an arm of the United States Department of the Interior, from the present and past administrations.  Indeed, these Gulf State Congressmen and women, a President from a Gulf State, and the present occupant who would like to win Louisiana and Florida in 2012 should have been taking action (regulatory or legislative) to protect the multibillion-dollar beach tourism and fishing industry of the Gulf from the financial interests of BP, British Petroleum.  That’s right, British petroleum, not even American petroleum.  Foreign oil companies showing up and drilling for oil and leaving in their wake an environmental disaster is what we think happens when foreign oil companies drill in Third World countries without any environmental regulation.  When did we become that Third World country?

Let’s say for the sake of argument that the federal government did their due diligence and only gave BP a permit to do the drilling at the Deepwater Horizon site after representations from BP that they had contingency plans for a blowout such as a blowout preventer and other such precautions.  As I understand it, in February 2009, BP filed a 52-page exploration and environmental impact plan for the Macondo well with the Minerals Management Service, an arm of the United States Department of the Interior, that oversees offshore drilling that stated it was “unlikely that an accidental surface or subsurface oil spill would occur from the proposed activities”  [Have they not screened ‘There will be Blood’ at BP headquarters] and the BP wellhead had been fitted with a blowout preventer.

We are now learning that the blowout preventer:  (1)  was not correctly built;  (2)  perhaps was broken because of previous accident(s);  and (3) was not the cure-all safety feature that BP represented to the federal government notably because BP was drilling in 5,000 feet (1,500 m) below sea level.

So why aren’t people in handcuffs?  This is a fraud on the federal government.  I stole DirecTV for three months, so I could have HBO and keep current on the Sopranos as well for the thrill of it – get satellite TV for free, and the prosecutor of the city I live in threatened to bring criminal charges against me if I didn’t settle civilly with DirecTV.  Congress impeached Bill Clinton for lying under oath in a civil case against him regarding sexual harassment about one of his many bizarre sexual trysts involving an overweight intern and a Cuban (if the intern looked like Gisele Bundchen, there’s no impeachment).  More currently, Lindsey Lohan might be going to jail for missing one alcohol counseling session she was required to take as result of her DWI.  Is our criminal law system only concerned with prosecuting and deterring trivial and weird conduct?  Should the LA Sheriff’s Department be in charge of enforcing federal regulations on oil companies?  They apparently do a more thorough job.

I have no doubt that there will be bipartisan fingerprints on this environmental disaster in the Gulf.  The question at hand has nothing to do with political affiliation, it is this:  How do we stop the spill.  How do we stop the gusher?  Two words:  James Cameron.

James Cameron caught in a reflective moment

What most people don’t realize about famed Hollywood director James Cameron is that he’s a very experienced and world-renowned deep sea diver and explorer.   BP has stated repeatedly that it’s difficult to stop the gusher because the Deepwater oil drilling site is located 5000 feet below sea level.  Well, James Cameron shot the movie, ‘The Abyss,’ about deep-sea exploration at 7000 feet, and he only lost three people in the deep sea shooting (BP has already lost 11).

James Cameron could close off the gusher and make a movie about it that would gross $100 billion dollars that would pay for a good part of the environmental clean-up of the BP oil spill, though only a small part of his monthly alimony statements.

In fact, James Cameron has announced to the press that he could pencil the United States in on Thursday and make an appointment to stop the BP gusher and he would only need (1) his mini-sub and (2) a pair of 3-D glasses.  His price for stopping the gusher:  ‘The Heart of the Ocean (Le Cœur de la Mer),’ the blue diamond featured in the 1997 film ‘Titanic’ and that the US grants Pandora Most Favored Planet trade status.

Nevertheless, BP and certain pundits make the argument that there is not a simple solution (Hollywood’s own James Cameron), but rather it is a very complex engineering undertaking to stop the gusher from a deepwater oil well located 5,000 feet below the ocean surface.  To which I respond, if it’s so freakin’ complicated, why are we even drilling that deep in the ocean in the first place?  To go back to BP’s February of 2009 52-page exploration and environmental impact plan, BP fails to indicate that:  (1) their contingency plans if a blowout occurs are greatly flawed or (2) to stop a gusher at these depths of the ocean is a near impossible engineering feat.  Hello handcuffs?  When the FBI knocks on the door at BP, Halliburton, and Transocean Ltd. to arrest everyone, if they’re gentleman, their response should only be: “What took you so long?”

BP seemed to have no problem setting up a 24-hour web cam down there to provide a live feed. Why couldn't they have capped the gusher then? They say the pressure at that depth is crushing, hasn't effected the web cam, right?

Try something, anything, WTF!  Certain of my friends have made the argument to me as follows:  You don’t understand, BP and other oil companies are in the best position to stop this spill and not the United States government.  Reaction #1:  I refuse to believe that one private oil company has access to more resources to fix this problem than the United States government.  Reaction #2:  Let BP try to stop it, fine, but why isn’t the United States government there with all of its agencies and resources with 34 other fixes if the one fix the BP tries every week or so – with the urgency of a high school sophomore cleaning up the mess in his bedroom after a parental scolding – doesn’t work?

Simply put, what’s the harm in trying?  I’ve got a great idea, send Jack Ryan and the Red October submarine to fire a torpedo at the Deepwater Horizon site and blow the thing up and hopefully that will stop the gusher.  Discuss.  Check out copy of Guinness Book of World Records from Library of Congress (the federal government has the resources, we need to use them!), look under World’s largest plunger, World’s largest hydraulic arm, and World’s longest metal crane, retrieve them and snap them together by welding on locking parts designed by Lego, and then go and stop gusher.  Discuss.  (I’m not saying it will work, I was trying to get the discussion started for everyone to throw in an idea or two).

The Education of Rand Paul #1:  First of all, everyone is for smaller and more efficient government.  Rand Paul was critical of Obama for beating up on BP and noting that BP has already agreed to pay any legitimate claims, let the free market work it out.  To BP, what does ‘any legitimate claim’ mean?  Maybe eight of the eleven people who died during the initial explosion, two had heart problems and would have died shortly anyway, and one was a drug addict who beat his wife, so we want to litigate that one.  As to the economic claims:  what receipts do you have to document your loss of business or damage to property?  There was oil on your beach?  I just took a picture of your beach (two years later), I don’t see any oil so how can you say that you were damaged.  Our (BP’s) experts showed there is no negative environmental or economic impact on your property, do you even have an expert?  I thought so.  Or I and my client BP are very sorry, but we were victims too, the real culprit was:  Transocean Ltd.  Yes, I know they’re bankrupt.

The Education of Rand Paul #2:  Not following government regulation or not having proper government regulation can equal more government:  Louisiana’s governor Bobby Jindal wants his state and potentially the federal government to build barrier islands to prevent the oil spill from spreading into fisheries and wetlands.  That’s more government.  The state and federal cleanup efforts will take a long time and again involve taxpayer’s monies and again more government.  BP will file numerous motions to dismiss plaintiffs’ claims with federal district courts which are organs of the federal government, and the litigation involving the BP oil spill will go on for years.  More Government.

Bill, baby, bill!  Final thought, so much for drilling our way out of this energy crisis.  Prediction:  Who will be mostly billed for the environmental cleanup of this ecological disaster?  Not British Petroleum, but the American taxpayer (including Rand Paul and the Tea Partiers).